What Would Grandpa Do Wednesday

One of our friends, who will go unnamed, has the coolest grandfather ever. Every time I see her, I am hoping for a new “Grandpa story.” They usually include lots of yelling, lots of cursing and lots of laughs (even though they sometimes scare the shit out of me). I asked her to kindly send me a story once a week for a new installment on our blog called “What Would Grandpa Do?” aka WWGD.

Here’s a little intro and story #1 from the granddaughter herself:

My grandpa is an unbelievable man. He always helps anyone in need. He is one of the most generous people I know, but Grandpa also grew up learning “you do not take shit from anyone.” So sometimes there are “incidents,” as my family and I like to call them.

This one is Jill’s personal favorite:

About 4, maybe even 5, years ago, my 16-year-old brother, lets just call him Red, was going through his rebellious stage aka his ghetto stage. And, I don’t mean your typical Jersey ghetto. I am talking fur jackets, diamond studs and pants half way down his ass. He was basically a Casper-white, red headed 50 Cent.

Needless to say, Grandpa was not happy with Red’s new look and don’t-give-a-fuck attitude.

One calm, seemingly normal afternoon, I am sitting on my computer when I hear the back door bang open. I look over to see Grandpa barreling in. Clearly he is on a mission.

“Where’s Red???” he barks at me.

“In the living room,” I reply.

I start to duck out of the room, but ultimately decide that I need to see this.

Grandpa pulls Red off the couch and throws him across the room onto the loveseat. Expletives are flying everywhere and Red shames the entire rap community by bursting into tears.

“You’re coming with me!!” Grandpa tells him.

And without a word, my 68-year-old grandfather and 16-year-old brother walk out the back door.

About an hour or 2 later Red walks in, eyes swollen, clearly shaken up.

“What happened?” I ask.

“He took me to Newark.” *

“What do you mean he took you to Newark???”

“He took me to fucking Newark. OK???” Red yells as he slinks away into his room.

Later, I go see Grandpa to find out what he did to Red.

“I do jobs in the worst parts of Newark,“ Grandpa casually explains. “If he is gunna act and dress like that, I thought he’d enjoy a tour.”

* If you dont know what Newark is, Google it. It's gangsta town in Jersey about 15 minutes down the road from the town Jill & the granddaughter grew up in. Its a place where people get shot and a place where suburban kids risk their lives going to illegally buy alcohol.